Thursday, May 3, 2012

Public Library


I have spotted my passion in life. I want to work at the public library. Yes, I want to be paid for arranging books. What else does a librarian do? He/she does not have to be well-read anymore. What is the need if fully grown adults read vampire pornography? One item less on the required skill-set.

At Wal-Mart I have taken clothes out from hangars and never bothered to put them back where they belong. I'd be at the receiving end of that habit as a library worker. Karma bitch. Other than that I'd hear violins in the background. I thought about the worst that can be thrown at me. A 85-year old lady wants help identifying a self-help book she half-read in 1991. Black cover, author's name is Jones or something. The unemployed and poor sit around browsing the free Internet as if they are at Starbucks. They run into problems printing their spelling/grammar error-ridden resumes for cash clerk jobs and I have to go help them over. Like clicking 'Print'. What next?

One small problem, I almost forgot. I'd not be paid much. I try to focus on the positives. I imagine being surrounded by books that I don't have to read. I'd be bored in a good way. The smell of old paper and municipal work are guaranteed to make me feel old-fashioned and community-centric like that Florida shooter Zimmerman. I just have to win a modest lottery sum. Matter settled.

1 comment:

Alan Smithee said...

This morning I saw a documentary on TV where public health officials in upstate NY were confounded with a sudden bout of a dozen or so HIV positive cases. The documentary said that it took them 1 year to identify the source. The process was very fascinating - interview the people whom the slept with, then interview them and so on.

Now, that is a dream job. Gossiping is addictive, you know.